Life Happens To All Of Us

Highs and lows are a normal part of life’s cycle, the way we look at the things we face at any given moment determines how we will experience it, especially when we are at the lows. I am discovering that the lows are just as important as our highs. It is the thing we need to help us to grow, expand, and graduate from one level to the next.

I recently had a conversation that gave me this insight. I am not sure if you have ever played a video, even if it’s one on your mobile device. I have been observing there are many different levels of life. Similar to the levels of a video game, as you conquer one level, you move to the next. The next level might be comfortable for the first minute or two and without any warning it gets a little more challenging. To win, you have to stay focused, you have to pay attention, you have to develop a strategy to conquer that level before you can move on to the next. And as you keep on keeping on, you will discover that the strategy used to conquer level 3 may not work at level 4 or 5, even though you just used those same moves. You will need to develop new ones for the new levels. Sometimes you may have to play the same level twice. The bottom line when this is applied to everyday life is all about mastering the lessons so that when you get to your higher level you don’t have to go back down to a lower level because you missed something important at one of the previous levels on your way up. THIS right here is the norm for every single human walking the playfield of life. Even for the persons who as some would say was, “born with a gold spoon”. Oh! You are so living under a rock if you think the wealthy do not have their fair share of challenges too.

Here is the thing that used to trouble me sometimes. If ALL of us have our share of problems, actually I prefer challenges over the word problems, so yes, if all of us, and I mean ALL, man, woman, young, old, ALL, no matter your lifestyle, status or the size of your bank account, no one is exempt. If it is inevitable that all of us will at some point experience the same cycles though we may be playing at different levels; why do we make each other feel so guilty for experiencing the parts of life that are so necessary for our growth? Why do some folk seem to rejoice as soon as they get a whiff that someone they know is experiencing a low? Why do some folk ensure they do their part to add to the difficulty of that person leveling up, whether conscious or unconscious? Is it a normal part of the difficulty, do persons who laugh at or talk about others during their time of adversity represent the figure who pops out of nowhere when you are playing a video game? Are we always supposed to be on our guard preparing for whatever surprise pops up? Can you imagine how much more challenging it is for some who are going through their metamorphosis to deal with their transition while trying to hide from others because of their fear of judgment or fear of public humiliation? A lot of food for thought.

I am grateful that I learned early to not care about the opinions of others because whether we like it or not, life would bring us the necessary lessons we need for us to grow. Protest all you like, it just is what it is. Life! The past few years have been kicking my ass, but guess what I have been kicking back. I am happily going through my Dark Night of the soul. And what was interesting is, as soon as I started to experience a breakthrough, Madam Rona showed up. I had a good laugh. But in hindsight as I reflected on all the projects that did not get off the ground and the monies lost as a result, I can’t help but give thanks, God was showing me, it wasn’t the right time because He saw what was up ahead of all of us and that particular business venture would not have survived this season as hard as we tried, none of us catered to a global shut down of non-essential businesses. Yet I am sure persons are gathering in their cliques having discussions they have no insight into. Some persons publicly aired their views about others who took the risk to continue their hustle despite what dangers they may or may not face because, at the end of the day, they have to put food on their family tables. I noticed it seems so much easier for the persons who have food on their plate to cast judgment without pausing to consider what someone else’s reality is. But I guess this can’t be helped, we are living in a time when everyone airs their opinions, facts checked or not.

Whichever way it goes all of us need the support during the time we are leveling up, especially in this age of social media where mostly perfection is displayed everywhere when behind the scene it isn’t so. I wish more people would keep it real especially the ones that are impacting lives. It is a farce to say, we are impacting lives and never show our struggles. I don’t want to be that type. I used to be guilty of not publicly sharing my challenges for fear of judgment, it was more comfortable to hide behind a smile. I am wiser now, I know the challenges were a huge part of creating the human being that I have grown into, so with that in mind, I do my best to share as much of my journey as I can, so you will know that you will only cheat yourself if you don’t take your time to grow through the levels. Unfortunately, there are no short cuts to leveling up, and if or when you should succumb to one, it’s usually is way too painful to get back on course and you will lose too much of your valuable asset, TIME.

The best gift you can give to yourself is to grow through what you need to despite the odds. I will have to admit baring my soul and sharing an intimate part of me to John Public, omg, was at one point my greatest fear, so for many years I wrote under a pen name, but once I conquered that fear of embracing and sharing my story as me, the liberation that was waiting on the other side was so worth it. I am so comfortable with my life and I have my mother to thank. For as long as I could remember I was embracing my most authentic self. I never got into the habit of watching and or obsessing over celebrities, my mother used to say, their bread is well buttered. Now that I am older it makes sense, she was in essence saying, mind your business, don’t invest too much of your time looking at others, find your way. I also understand why so many folks are unhappy, they are too busy being obsessed with someone else’s life because they have no insight to what theirs could look like. It is so much easier to be the best version of yourself instead of trying to be someone else. Makes sense right? I digress. I went there because this is a very important part of my foundation that helped to mold me into who I am becoming.

I will tell you this, the sooner you free yourself from being in the chains of bondage you wrapped around yourself by being concerned or distracted or discouraged by what other people think, say and do, it’s the sooner you will be able to focus on your labor pains of giving birth to the fruits of the level you are conquering. I mastered the art of giving no faxxs a while now, from as young as I can remember people were always talking about me, good, bad, and indifferent from the young and the older, from family members to my peers. I embraced none of it. I have experienced the very person who just whispered “I love you”, would be the same person to stick a knife in my back if they could. I say that to say this, get over it. Take back your power and embrace this. Someone else’s opinion of you does not define who you are. Know thyself. When you get this you would be soooo free, omg.

At the end of the day, life is good and the choice is ours to choose how we would embrace the good, the bad, and the indifferent that shows up on our path. My main keys for getting through the levels is surrender, be non-resistant, boldly speak my truth from a place of love, embrace it all. I choose to share not because I have anything to brag about, but because I am blessed, I am grateful and I know somewhere out there, there is a girl, woman, a boy or man who can use a little encouragement. I choose at this moment to remind and or encourage myself, and anyone else who is game, just because I bloody can. 🥰

This quote resonated deeply with me, “One day you will share your story of how you’ve overcome what you are going through now. And it will become a part of someone’s survival guide” I am grateful to all the brave souls who shared their stories in the past and the ones who are sharing in the present. I needed your story, it gives me insight and encouragement during the seasons I had no clue and needed guidance the most. Thank you.

Love and Light beautiful souls, we are all in this together 🙏🏽

Originally published at on May 30, 2020.



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Zoe Mendez

Pro Makeup Artist/Beauty Consultant. I am passionate about everything that relates to holistic beauty, love, life, travel & relationships. Lover of life.